Ok everyone, after a couple hours on the phone with Apple Support, the issue is.....FIXED(???)!?
After several steps involving "sudo diskutil resetUserPermissions / `id -u` " from terminal, "repairHomePermissions" from Recovery boot terminal, reinstalling Tahoe, rerunning resetUserPermissions because my entire user folder was inaccessible after reinstall (would not recommend), booting in safe mode, creating a new network location, uninstalling Windscribe, all of which did nothing...
We went System Settings > General > AirDrop & Handoff, and switched Handoff off, AirDrop to No One, and AirPlay Receiver off, my network connection completely stabilized. Even after switching all of those back on, my network has SO FAR remained completely stable.
I'm testing my network by running a continuous terminal ping to my router IP, which previously was showing an average around 3ms and then a spike every few seconds up around 50-100ms; now it is hovering steady around 3ms. My remote gaming Shadow PC which was previously getting choppy video/audio is now working smoothly.
So at this point it's unknown exactly which feature was the problem between Handoff/AirDrop/AirPlay, but it seems like something in one of those configurations that got corrupted in the update was reset/recreated by switching them off and on. I'd recommend everyone give that a shot and write back if it works for you, I hope so! And I'll let you know if the problem comes back.