Apple Watch Update won't download on new-to-me watch

Hello,

I recently was gifted an Apple Watch, hooray.

However, when trying to pair it to my iPhone 14, it prompted me to update the phone, which I did, and then to update the watch. The watch has been 'updating' for about an hour now, the update bar is not moving at all, and the time is wildly vacillating between 51 minutes and 16 hours. Again, no progress is being made. I've restarted both the phone and the watch, have force-closed the watch app, uninstalled AND reinstalled it, and have both devices connected to power and next to each other. My phone is connected to wifi--in fact, I've tried it both connected and disconnected, just in case my wifi too weak.

I saw some troubleshooting here, but it all seemed to be for watches that have already been paired to the user's phone. Mine hasn't, so I can't access the watch in the watch app to delete the update files or whatever. Any help would be appreciated!