Sorry for the frustration and experience. However, the phone number used is what the issuing bank has on file as the Primary Contact Phone Number. The bank probably has the new number but doesn’t have it marked as the Primary Contact Number.
This is from Apple’s support documentation on how credit and debit cards are provisioned for Apple Wallet.
Adding additional verification
“A card issuer can decide whether a credit or debit card requires additional verification. Depending on what’s offered by the card issuer, the user may be able to choose between different options for additional verification, such as a text message, email, customer service call or a method in an approved third-party app to complete the verification. For text messages or email, the user selects from contact information the issuer has on file.”
“A code is sent, which must be entered into Apple Wallet, Settings or the Apple Watch
app. For customer service or verification using an app, the issuer performs their own communication process.”
Please note the last sentence of the first paragraph I underlined. The number is from the bank. No exceptions.
It makes no sense for Apple to supply the number. Fraudsters and scammers could easily substitute their own information. The bank uses what they have on file to verify a customer.
Card provisioning security overview - Apple Support