VNC, SSH, VPN, and the rest

Hello all,

I’ve written here asking for advice about doing things behind a VPN. And I know the advice - I’m not willing to just forgo my VPN because I use the VPN to hide the traffic of 1 app that runs all the time. I’m trying to figure out how to work within that limitation until such time as Apple reinstates split tunneling…

Running a Mac mini as server. Would like to, occasionally, connect from an iPhone/iPad. Preferably by a secure method.

I was reading about Remoter today but apparently that has me up against the same wall ie forwarding port 22 for ssh. I can forward ports with my VPN but they have to be above 2901 or something.

I’m wondering if a. There is a simpler/secure method of connecting to the server remotely and/or b. How insecure is forwarding a non standard port for vnc and connecting from client also running VPN? and c. Is there a way to have the mini reopen an unexpectedly quit app automatically (somehow bypass the stupid report/reopen dialog)?

TIA