Itunes on Desktop syncing to iPhone

So it has literally been YEARS since I have messed with my music. I recently noticed that some of the content I uploaded from CD to iTunes is not on my cell phone. I tried to sync the iTunes with my phone but the device icon never shows up on the app, and from reading online it sounds like Apple has made it impossible to manage your music unless you pay them a monthly service? Is this correct? Why should I have to pay someone money to put music that is legally loaded into my iTunes on my desktop to my iPhone so that I can listen to it from that device? If this cannot be done, is there a legal way to take all my music off my iTunes and iPhone and move them over to a non Apple phone? If this is how they treat their loyal customers, I would like to become a former one if this is truly the case, that I cannot move music onto my phone that I own. Thanks for anyones input. Appreciated