Remote access

If you see orange or green indicators in the status bar 

With iOS 14, you might see an orange or green indicator in the status bar on your iPhone. These indicators appear when the microphone and/or camera are being used by an app.

• An orange indicator  means the microphone is being used by an app on your iPhone.

• A green indicator  means either the camera or the camera and the microphone are being used by an app on your iPhone.

iOS / iPadOS devices cannot be hacked or infected with Virus / Malware / Spyware if it is updated to the latest iOS/iPadOS unless you have intentionally downloaded spurious software or unauthorized apps directly from the internet and installed on your device or/and have Jail Broken. 

It (Hacking) also depends on how careful are you in sharing sensitive and valuable information pertaining to your iPhone such as Passcode, Password etc with your friends and family members.

Be careful when sharing the device's sensitive and valuable information with friends and family members.

Thumb Rules:

1. Enable  Guided Access before handing over an iPhone to kids
2. Don't share Apple IDs
3. Don't Jail Break
4. Don't share sensitive information pertaining to your device and payment methods
5. Beware of Phishing
6. Use a strong password for all the Apple IDs created and used by you --> If you think your Apple ID has been compromised - Apple ...

No. It is not. That is not a "record sign". It is an indicator that the microphone is in use.

That is completely normal when you're on a call. If it weren't on, no one would be able to hear you

That's right. That means the microphone is active. If it were not active, you would not be able to speak to your wife.

It does NOT mean that you are being "recorded".