how do i reset the password on my phone when its locked out?

Read the Apple Support document about what to do "If you forgot the passcode on your iPhone, or your iPhone is disabled". Click here then select your device type if necessary --> http://support.apple.com/HT204306 - Also has links for what to do for an iPad or an iPod touch.

On the remote contingency you are asked for your Apple ID and password AND you have forgotten those:

If you forgot your Apple ID - https://support.apple.com/HT201354

If you forgot your Apple ID password - https://support.apple.com/HT201487

"You’ve come to the right place to reset a forgotten password, unlock your account, or recover an Apple ID." - http://iforgot.apple.com/

What to do after [or before] you change your Apple ID email address or password - https://support.apple.com/HT204071

If you still need help:

- Contact Apple for help with Apple ID account security "This article provides country-specific Apple Support contact information for customers seeking help with their Apple ID password or other security-related issues." - https://support.apple.com/HT204169

I'll keep my response clear and concise and not confuse you with a lot of "if this and that" which you may not encounter. If other issues arise out of dealing with this then please feel free to ask and we can address them as they arise.