Family Sharing / Screentime Settings

I am managing three accounts for my kids but I find apple approach to this completely unintuitive. I do not understand why most kids devices might need access to settings after the device has been setup. I find the available restrictions lock out complete abilities rather than the detail that you do not want them to touch. And if you want to give them a basic right, then you have to give them right to change things that you do not want them to touch. Is this just my experience or am I doing something wrong? Also for inexplicable reasons I have ipads that update their screentime data to the family organizer visible display and iphone that does not. Can you not come back to basics and the user journey? I worry for other parents that might be even less familiar than myself with these menus. A simple online search or AI chat does not expose all the settings and weird layers you are creating. If anyone knows a good source of advice for setup I would appreciate it.