I sent money to my friend but she doesn’t have the identification required to receive it. How can I have the money returned or cancel payment

See the following from Send and receive money with Apple Cash - Apple Support

How to cancel or dispute a payment

1. Open the Messages app, then open the conversation and tap the payment.
2. Your Apple Cash card will open in the Wallet app. Under Latest Transactions, tap the payment, then tap it again.
3. Tap Cancel Payment.

If you don't see Cancel Payment, the person has already accepted the payment. Try asking the recipient to send the money back to you instead.

It might take 1-3 business days for the money to be refunded, depending on your bank or card issuer.