I’m being asked to run some kind of security update from apple but can not find it where do I need to go or please send me the link to update my I13 phone

VPN or proxy connections might prevent your device from contacting the update servers.

• Get help with over-the-air iOS updates - Apple Support

• Remove and download the iOS update again

If you still can't install the latest version of iOS, try downloading the update again:

1. Go to Settings > General > [Device name] Storage.

1. Find the iOS update in the list of apps.

1. Tap the iOS update, then tap Delete Update.

1. Go to Settings > General > Software Update and download the latest iOS update.

If you don’t see the update in the list of apps or if the issue happens again, you need to update your device with iTunes.

Try updating iOS after each step.

• Try to Forget the WiFi network and add it again

• Try another WiFi network 

• Toggle sets automatically off and then on

• Reset your network settings

• Force restart your device

• Remove any beta profiles, if applicable

• If everything fails: - Use iTunes or Finder (for macOS Catalina+) to update your device instead of over-the-air

• Get help with iOS update and restore errors - Apple Support

• If you see an error when you update or restore your iPhone, iPad

Kpather wrote:

my armor VPN app stating it.

If you are experiencing any difficulty with third-party apps or a specific website then please contact the app developer or site publisher/host directly --> How to contact an app developer - Apple Support

All updates are at Settings > General > Software Update.